Talking about others is currently a trend. There has probably always been a lot of talk about others who aren’t present. However, never have so many of these statements been recorded and documented. Social media is full of them. Why are others so important that people constantly have to declare their opinions about them? Does everyone do it or are some people particularly affected?

Talking about others is a mass phenomenon

The fact is: almost everyone does it to a varying degree. No matter what age. No matter what level of education. Men or women, it doesn’t matter. It seems to be a basic need for people. Psychologists like Siegmund Freud view it as a projection that makes it possible to act out one’s own feelings and wishes by attributing them to others. So we would love to do something ourselves but don’t have the confidence to do it, or we are prevented from doing it for other reasons. This is exactly why the things we say about others also say a lot about us.

Criticism from behind leads nowhere

You can say good things or bad things about people. Generally. However, criticism prevails. We feel it is very normal to criticize others. It has become a real culture supported by social media that encourages everyone to post their opinion. But how sensible is it to criticize someone behind their back? If a person’s behavior really bothers me and I would like it to change, the most sensible way would be to talk to the person directly. Only then do I have a chance of actually solving my problem.

If, on the other hand, I only speak about the person, I’m not changing anything: I’m just making a statement about myself. And it sounds something like this: “I have a problem with this person’s behavior. The problem is so important to me that I speak about it in public with others or post about it on social media. But I don’t have the courage to address this problem because I am too weak or cowardly. That’s why I would rather hide behind anonymity.”
Isn’t this a much different image that the supposed superiority from which a person criticizes someone?

Maintain sound judgment

I’m not trying to say that people shouldn’t criticize others. But there’s no need to go overboard. I don’t have to communicate what bothers me to a wide audience. I often don’t even know enough to pass judgment. I don’t really know the person and I don’t know the reasons for their actions. It is always advisable to speak with the person first. If that has no effect, you can still post it on Facebook. 😉
And always remember: When you point a finger at someone else, there are 3 fingers pointing back at you.

Birte Karalus